Lock-down

Here we are at the end of yet another week where news of any sort is in short supply - there is a dearth of information, we may say. When I reflect on things it seems that every week is a bit short on interest - it's the rare occasion when there IS any news in fact.

Howsomever (I like that word), there is an interesting subject to bring up - well, almost interesting: we are on a lock-down! A lock-down is when everything comes to a halt and the whole place is locked up to be searched for however long it takes, usually about two to three days. No showers, no exercise, no work, no nuffink. Mail isn't supposed to be affected but it invariably is - apparently they are short of staff to do the mail because they are all needed to search places, and especially cells.

So what has brought on this lock-down? You may well ask. All I know is that as I was in my cell watching the football on Saturday afternoon there was a kerfuffle out on the wing and voices shouting about "Everybody lock up!" I haven't seen or spoken to anyone since, although the gossips have been yelling out of the windows.

I don't know what happened and, to be quite honest about it, I don't really care - it has nothing to do with me. All I know is that we have been given a sheet of paper under the cell doors to inform us that there will be no further issue of knives (for cooking I presume) until further notice. That can only mean that there has been an incident and somebody was bleeding. Another paper came under the doors this morning telling us that we are to be kept on lock-down until the whole place has been searched. Going on past experience that could mean about three days.

Apart from the fact that my cell will be wrecked at some point in the next several days, I don't mind a bit. In fact I quite like lock-downs because I am quite comfortable with my own company and I can read or write or just watch telly and play with my PS2. I have plenty to occupy my tiny little mimd. Some fellows are not so successful when it comes to entertaining themselves, that's why they yell rubbish to their friends out of windows. Most cons, however, take the opportunity for a bit of peace and quiet so, for however long it takes the search to be completed, we have peace generally and most cons actually like it.

Not the junkies, of course, they need to be out of their cells so they can duck and dive and 'flex' as they seek the wherewithal to chase the elusive dragon, that mythical creature which doesn't exist and therefore cannot be caught. But the junkies don't count.

Another bonus is the break from the perpetual beggars who are always on the look-out for fags, or fag papers, or sugar - or anything else they can get their hands on, the poor managers. Yes, a few days of peace and quiet are ahead of me and the rest of my contemporaries scattered around in the silent cells, the only sound at the minute being the tapping of a typewriter. Oh yeah! That's me!

So, over the next couple of days we will all be searched, cells will be turned topsy-turvey, little, inconsequential items will be confiscated out of vindictiveness, like sellotape, paperclips - stuff which makes every day living that tiny bit easier. That will all be taken away, but it's a small price to pay for peace.

Finally, I wonder who got stabbed or cut? No, forget I said that, I don't want to know. If I don't know then I can't tell anyone, and that seems like a sensible policy to me. Let me live in peace, quiet and total ignorance, just like my life has been for years now. Why change a losing combination?

The Voice In The Wilderness