The clocks went forward

The clocks went forward.
Every year the clocks go forward or back depending on the time of year of course. Speaking for myself and let's be fair, I can only speak for myself because I have nothing interesting to say for myself, never mind anyone else, so I speak for myself.
Speaking for myself I have come to the conclusion that moving clocks backwards or forward twice a year is pointless. It all goes back to the days when farmers needed the daylight. Why do the rest of us have to cater to these people?
Save the countryside, strangle a farmer.
I have no axe to grind with farmers and I am sure they do a great service to themselves because apart from making the world smell of shit they actually grow stuff.
Leave the clocks alone and if they need more daylight let them get up earlier or later, who cares?
Oh well, another hour's sleep lost because the clocks went forward.

What's the Craic?

What's the Craic?
 Craic; I am not even going to try to explain it, the meaning is myriad. There I was, sitting with my morning cuppa and I get an email on my phone from someone called Susan.
 I mean, who is Susan?
I know who Alice is, Chubby Brown is the only one who doesn't. But I have no idea who Susan is. I used to have a stalker called Susan but she can't put two words together so I am discounting her.
It would seem that she wants to get together with me. Personally, I think it is one of those scams that we hear about so I told her not to contact me again.
What is going on when these nasty fuckers can just pluck names out of the air and try to con them?
I mean to say, what is the craic? What is going on? What's the craic?

Ha!

Ha!
The living room is lovely and warm, even the dogs are comfy.
Anyway, the door opened and in she came, wrapped for an arctic winter in her Eskimo-type onesie and stood looking at me and the dogs.
"There is no milk!" says her.
"I don't care," was my considerate retort. "I use cream in my coffee. If you want Acker Bilk, go up the garage and get some."
"It's freezing outside!" cries the blot on the landscape.
"Aint it the truth!" I say, grinning. "Nothing I can do about that, it's in the hands of the weather I'm afraid."
"You horrible sod! You'll let me freeze!"
"Why not?" I ask, not unreasonably. "Why would I want to freeze when it's you needs the milk."
"Bastard." says her and flounces out, door left wide open.
I just closed the door, stroked the dog and picked up my hot coffee.
Ha!

It's snowing!

It's snowing!
Now, a lot of people may have looked out of the window recently and if they are as observant as me they may have noticed that it is snowing and apparently most of Europe has come to a standstill. Trains are stranded, cars and lorries are stuck all over the place, roads are impassable, drivers and passengers have been stuck in traffic for hours and the catalogue of disasters seems to be more or less endless. However, what I don't understand is why are we surprised?
It seems to me that every year, some worse than others, it snows and the country collapses.
"Oh!" they cry. "We will make sure it never happens again!
But it does.
Every year it does, some worse than others.
Well, I have got some advice for everyone.
Stay at home where it is nice and warm and safe.
It's snowing!