Tuesday, February 25, 2014

It's the cheese

It's the cheese! It's not the whisky, that just puts you to Bo Peep, no it's the cheese. What you need is cheese, a really strong, bordering on the disgusting cheese. You are guaranteed dreams and possible, if you are lucky, a nightmare. Oh I love a good nightmare because somehow, no matter how bad the dream is, I always know it's a dream,. I can wake myself up at will, more or less. But, if you want a good dream, get a strong cheese, It's the cheese that does it.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Stephen Grellet 1773-1855

I expect to pass through this world but once; any good thing therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now; let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.

I had a girlfriend once, I called her 'The Crown Jewels' because you could look, but you couldn't touch.
Frank Wilkinson 1946-

Monday, February 17, 2014

Two Cats Was All It Took

Down at the stables Michael had chickens. One by one they were disappearing and we suspected a fox was getting them. Their numbers slowly decreased until at the end of last week there were only three left. A fox had even been seen, I saw one myself.
Anyway, today there are no chickens and Michael caught the culprits in the act, two ginger cats, sitting waiting patiently inside the now empty chicken house, an old stable.
So, all this time we had suspected a fox when really all it took to get rid of two dozen chickens was a couple of cats.


Mud! It was everywhere.
Down the stables this morning and I took Chloe into the exercise paddock. It has quite a depth of mud so that the horses have to work hard when they trot round. Anyway, as I say, went in with her and my feet sank into the mud up to the tops of my wellies, I couldn.t move! Of course Chloe shoved me and down I went, splatt! Up to the waist in it, thick, gooey and probably attractive to alligators for all I know. I was lucky really because the horse stood all over me but only shoved me into the soft mud, no harm done, not even a bruise.
Michael said, "That was unlucky! If we had got that on video we could have got two hundred and fifty quid from 'You've Been Framed."
I said, "Alright, I'll do it again, I can't get any dirtier, I'm already thick with mud."

Sunday, February 16, 2014

It could be worse.

Sometimes I wonder about the people I read about or read from on this page.
Well, whoever they are, I hope that they are well and that they are happy.
Am I happy?
It aint so bad.
It could be worse.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014


It occurs to me that from time to time I may offend people. Well, I just want to say that if I ever say anything which does cause offence, may I say with the greatest humility and sincerity that I couldn't give a shit.

Ha Ha.

Ha Ha! I have blocked her, change3d my passwords, everything. I am rid of the vicious cow. Ha Ha!

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Had a great day

Had a great day today. Nothing earth shattering or anything like that, but I stood with a horse resting it's head over my shoulder and a dog actually lying on my feet. Okay, it's not much, but it means a lot to me. The fact that I have a new woman in my life and a silly nineteen year old who wants to be my new girlfriend is by the way. It's the John Wayne impressions that do it you know. Anyway, what I am trying to say is that today was special, I had a great day today.

I told you!

I told you that she is weird! Now she is making sort of veiled threats and demanding something or other, who knows? Anyway, I have changed my passwords so she can't meddle with things. I wish she would go away, but I told you, she is weird.


Her name is Yvonne and she is weird. I have been trying to delete her from my circles but I don't know how to. Unfortunately that means when I post anything she gets it too and thinks it is meant for her. She gets nasty. So, if anyone can tell me how to get rid of her, I would appreciate it, she is weird.

Monday, February 10, 2014

Sunday, February 09, 2014

lovely person

I just read about Jessica, what a lovely person.

I don't know what I am doing.

Sometimes...well, most of the time really, I don't know what I am doing.
Unfortunately, and this will be readily attested to by all who know me, the above is a true statement.
However, every now and then, once in a blue moon so to speak, I get something right.
Ha! At this point someone will be thinking, "What did he get right?"
Can't tell you that, it is classified information.
It's not really, it's just that I am afraid that if I say too much too soon I will make a mess of it, or someone else will, so until I am on more solid ground, I'm saying nuttin'.
Let it suffice for me to hint, I met a nice person, she is lovely, both internally and out-ternally. (That's not a real word, but it should be.)
I don't want to make a bollix of it, so I am taking everything with caution. Basically because I normally don't know what I am doing.

Tuesday, February 04, 2014

I was conned

I haven't been awake very long but long enough to know that I have been conned.
I went to bed last night full of strong cheese and equally strong whisky, fully expecting a night of weird dreams. What did I get? Nada, zilch, zero, nuttin', nowt, sweet bugger all.
Slept like a baby, (that'll be the whisky) and not a dream in sight, nasty or otherwise.
So, the gobshite who told me about the dreams and nightmares was telling me porkies, I feel as though I have been had over, ripped off, fooled and mugged off. Basically, I was conned.

Monday, February 03, 2014

Cheese and whisky

Ive just had strong cheese and whisky.
Somebody once told,me that cheese causes nightmares and whisky causes dreams. I should be in for an interesting night.
I have just had very strong cheese and whisky

Saturday, February 01, 2014

There is always one.

It's true! There is always one, in this case a bolt that quite simply refuses to cooperate and won't come undone.
Ellen Jane has a cart, a little, light-weight trotting cart, and she wants rid of it. It's been stuck on top of the stable roof for God knows how long but we finally brought it down for her the other day, me and young Charlie. Anyway, Charlie pumped up the tyres after breaking the first pump and we got the thing harnessed up to Samson. Off he went, Charlie, round the block, no bother. So Ellen Jane gets up with him for the second circuit. I stayed with Charlie's Ma waiting for them to get back. They came back with Samson untacked and being led by EJ, Charlie was pulling the cart, a broken shaft.
No harm done, all I need to do is take both shafts, shorten them by about three inches, put them back on and she can flog the useless thing and get another cart.
Easier said than done.
Each shaft is held by two bolts, all I had to do was remove the bolts, shorten the shafts, reseat them, drill new holes and put the bolts back in. Three came out easily, not the fourth. Three times today I have been driving back and forth getting tools, monkey wrenches, grips, socket sets, spanners, allen keys and in the end I got a hacksaw and sawed the bastard off altogether. I'll replace the shafts when my stress levels recover.
There is always one.