Monday, April 06, 2009

The Oracles of Whitemoor

We waited patiently for the answer from the parole board to my application to be either released or sent to open prison. Well, it finally arrived on Thursday 26th March and at first glance hardly seemed to be worth the wait because there is nothing there for me. After all of these years, all I have been through and done - nothing! The obsession seems to be with acquiring the right ticks in the right boxes to allow those who oversee such things to say, "See! He is rehabilitated! He has got the ticks which say so!"

Ticks in boxes mean nothing and could in fact give a completely false picture. All they prove is that the subject / prisoner has learned by rote all the correct responses to give, much like Pavlov's dog really. Actually understanding is another matter. I mantain that I did myself far more good with just one of my degrees than a thousand courses could ever hope to do.

I had to study hard, reconfigure my whole thinking processes and my values and came out of it all at graduation a better person. (In fact I did three degrees - and, thank you, I've heard all the jokes about the old girl band, The Three Degrees, but if you can't resist the urge to crack another one, feel free.) There are one or two areas where it seems that my words were either misunderstood or, more probably, misheard. But I see no percentage in trying to set the record straight in every particular - that would take on the aspect of nit-picking.

However, there seems to be a very subtle attempt to actually accord me a certain amount of help in another direction. I think that they deliberately delayed the answer to the application not out of any form of discourtesy but because they wished to ensure that their report could not be used against me in an entirely separate matter - namely the Judicial Review, which was heard on the day the parole response was issued.

Someone said to me yesterday (Friday 27th March) that all of the years of study, (I'm still studying in fact) were really a complete waste of time and that I would have been better to have continued in my disruptive campaign because then they would have taken me off the Category 'A' and moved me on just to get rid of me and I would be free now. It is a point of view, of course, and I can see how the perception can be just that. However, I don't agree. I didn't do what I did because I thought that it would impress anyone, or that the Parole Board would be influenced or so that I could demand to be called 'Doctor'. No, I did it all for the simple reason that I needed to change and I wanted to change.

I did it all for myself, selfish fellow that I am. And I am still doing it for myself. The more I read, the more I learn and the more I realise that I have a lot to learn in the future. Having said that, I'll learn nothing from a simplistic course being administered by some youngster who, to me, hardly seems old enough to be out of school. But we mustn't allow rancour or malice to creep in, that would never do - and would make a mess of the tick boxes.

So, the Parole Report/Response is back and it is there for all to read. Feel free to complain - their address is on top of it.

Finally, let me just say that the very fact of my (relatively!) balanced and unemotional acceptance of the refusal is perfect proof of my new non-confrontational attitude to life. I haven't even told anyone else about it yet, let alone created any sort of fuss.

Mind, even that could be misinterpreted by the youngsters who are training to he psychologists - the Oracles of Whitemoor.

The Voice In The Wilderness

1 comment:

shogunyk2 said...

Keep on learning Frank, and keep on trying somehow somewhere someone in the homw office will see sense and realise that the big mistake has been made
Best wishes Howard