Monday, October 19, 2009

A retrospective

Once again a week has gone by with nothing happening worth talking about or telling anyone about - story of my life really. Everything has come to a sort of standstill, a hiatus, a pause.

I should imagine that we all feel this way from time to time - that we are waiting for something but we have no idea what that may be. It happens to me occasionally and generally leads to a bit of a period of reflection, soul-searching, a retrospective - call it what you will.

Well, I had a bit of a reflect the other night in the silence of my kennel and I got to thinking about why I never get depressed or feel sorry for myself. It is not as if I haven't got reasons to indulge in a bit of self pity, but I never do.

Someone once said that you will never see a wild animal or bird feeling sorry for itself. A wild bird will simply drop off a twig dead, but it will never feel sorry for itself. Why do I never feel sorry for myself? Maybe I am wild too. Thinking about the matter seriously, I think that a case can be made out that I used to be pretty wild - unaware and heedless of danger. Nothing scared me, and that is quite stupid. Mind, stupid and me - the best of friends in many ways.

There's where my wildness came from - my lack of fear. A sensible person understands that a bit of healthy fear never hurt anyone and can be very necessary for self-preservation. I've never been scared of anything much, ever. It's got me into a lot of trouble - and out of a lot too.

So, where am I going with this? Nowhere, that's where. 

E.M. Forster once said or wrote:

I hate the idea of causes, and if I had to choose between betraying my country and betraying my friend, I hope I should have the guts to betray my country.
The Voice In The Wilderness

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