Saturday, July 03, 2010

Flaming June!

Why am I surprised? Just a few short weeks ago I wrote that I was full of hope for June - shall we say that I had great expectations! There were three main reasons for my hopes for June, three arrows fired into the air, seeking targets.

The first was the decision that was being made by the CCRC, and we fully expected that they would order another investigation - on many grounds, not the least being the new evidence that has been uncovered, turned up, call it what you will. That decision isn't coming now, not for another six weeks or so. Still, what is six weeks after over twenty-four years? I'll tell you - six weeks is six weeks I'll never get back. It's not as though they will be tacked onto the end of my life, is it? (Never end a question with a preposition - my tutor, Sandra Forrest told me that.) So - no CCRC decision.

The second arrow was the Parole Hearing of course, but that has gone much the same way as the CCRC decision - in fact it has gone further. The Parole Board has ordered that proper reports be done and assessments too. That has all got to be completed by November 7th, so there's another delay - no decision.

The third arrow was my manuscript that I sent off to the Koestler Awards in my quest for yet another award to go with my Galberg and my David Astor. We expected that decision to be by the end of June too, but it won't be. In fact it will probably be August before we hear anything - so yet again, no decision.

Story of my life really - hurry up and wait. So, I sit here in my kennel on the Lazy L and cogitate, muse, meditate, contemplate and vegetate, doing absolutely nothing, zilch, nada, nuffink. It's all good for me of course, character-building, so they say. However, the way I see it is that after getting on for twenty-five years of it, my character is formed, built, erected and cast in concrete - and some people probably think THAT wouldn't be a bad idea. I'm getting quite the expert at doing bugger all now. I can sit in my cell and keep myself entertained for long and sustained periods of time, doing nothing.

At least the lock-down is over now, more or less. They locked the prison down on Saturday 19th June and kept it that way until the morning of Friday 25th June. That's six days, the longest lock-down I have ever been involved in, and I've seen a few over the years - more than most in fact. Not many fellows have been in jail as long as me. Ha! There's something to be boastful about!

So, the lock-down came to an end at 9:30 am on Friday 25th June and the very first thing I (and most others) did was head for the showers. It's all very well washing in a sink but that can never give the feeling of cleanliness that a shower gives.

As a bit of an aside - have you ever stood in a shower and heard, from the cubicle next door, a fellow who is tone deaf singing in a fake Jamaica accent - he's from Birmingham - "Polly Put The Kettle On"? And the beautiful part was HE DIDN'T KNOW THE WORDS! Having said that, knowing the words is hardly the point really. We've got this hairy-arsed gunman who is doing thirty years or more singing a nursery rhyme in an accent he THINKS is real but is as phoney as his 'sense of honour' and I think he must be in the middle of a personality crisis of some sort. Does he know who he is? I doubt if he knows WHERE he is, never mind anything else.

But, like me, he was happy to be getting a shower - which brings me neatly to the statement that most people are happy with the little things in life. But now and then, just for a change, we would like to get at least SOMETHING to give us hope - like a decision from the CCRC, Parole Board, the Koestler Awards or the idiot in the kitchen who seems to confuse apples and bananas.

It's all character-building is it?

The Voice In the Wilderness

No comments: