It's a funny ould world

It was kind of misty when I went out for the day yesterday - it was a bit cold too. Not that I let that bother me much - in fact not very much bothers me much. It's all much of a muchness, as the bard would have said. (Too many "muches" there - too much in fact.)

So, seeing as nobody was collecting me at the gate I had to get the prison bus, which I don't mind really. I just sit there letting folk know that I am out via my mobile. Incidentally, there are now no facilities for recharging our mobiles, which we bought at great expense - thirty quid for a basic unit when better ones can be got for two quid at any boot sale (but leave that to one side for now). So, seeing as we can no longer recharge our phones they therefore must become useless and redundant. So I have asked for my money back - what good is a phone that can't be used?

So, in the prison bus and into town, where I had a little wander about whilst chatting to several friends on the phone and finally discovering that Big Anthony and his son Little Anthony would be late arriving to meet me. Apparently Big Anth bought a new car on Saturday - a Vauxhall Insignia, a very nice car - but when he went to put fuel in it on Sunday morning at the crack of dawn, he had put 94 quid's worth of petrol in it before he realised it was a diesel car!

Lunacy rules and will never die out at this rate. I've always thought the diesel pump fittings wouldn't go into a petrol car and vice versa, but what do I know eh?

So, they had to wait for the AA to come out and drain the tank and give it a rinse out - let's hope that they used liquid common sense.

Anth phones: "I'm sitting at the security gate."

"What security gate?"

"The one at the prison," says he.

Says I, "I'm sitting in the town centre! You can't miss it. There's a church - the only tall building in the town. You can see it for miles!"

We finally met up at a quarter to two. Only five hours late, and not a petrol tanker in sight - although that could be seen as rhyming slang.

Having said all that, I enjoyed my day with the boys - great - and had several chats to several people on the phone. I spoke to Susan May, or Suzie the Floozie as I used to call her years ago. Hey! I've known Sue for a long time now - donkey's years. Amanda clocked in and we had a performance with me trying to send her a phone number. I can't work the bleedin' phone at all.

I finally got back to the shovel and pick at about a quarter to seven and instantly got myself into hot water because I had more money when I came back than I had when I went out. I shouldn't have told them - it's as simple as that. We are asked to be honest but the instant we are we get into trouble. However, that's all water under the bridge, so to speak - and it had gone cold again after a lovely sunny day.

All in all, I enjoyed myself and went to bed a tired but replete fellow. I'll see them all again in three weeks, only this time I won't get into trouble for having too much money. See! I'm back to the "muches" again. It's too much, I tell you, and it don't suit me it don't.

If every day was as satisfying as yesterday, I couldn't complain - but I probably would, just on principle.

The Voice In The Wilderness