Let me begin at the best place to begin a story - at the beginning. Let's face it, if starting at the beginning was good enough for good old Charlie Dickens, it's good enough for me.
I finally met The SS and a very nice, down-to-earth fellow she is too. We all know that I am a dyed-in-the-wool vulgarian, and that didn't bother her at all. In fact, when I mentioned it, she remarked something about how she had been known to turn the air a fetching shade of blue herself, given the right wind and tide.
The first thing that she told me, and I paraphrase here, was that I can forget all about going to settle in Gloucestershire - for several reasons, not the least being that the Gloucestershire probation wouldn't sanction it on the grounds that I have no "ties" there and that the accommodation was entirely unacceptable and unsuitable. None of this is a reflection on the people in Gloucestershire, who are more than willing to assist and support me. The original plan was for me to stay with John, who is editing my work and, as he so rightly states, there is a lot of work to be done requiring a great deal of face-to-face talk and discussion. Unfortunately, that will have to be done from a distance now - more protracted, of course, but still perfectly viable. We will manage.
Okay, so where CAN I locate?
The North-East is out of the question because The SS said that letting me go back there would be tantamount to setting me up to fail. Oh she of little faith! There will be no failure, I guarantee it, no problem. But she is right, of course - the perception is there. Once I set foot back in the area I will have every miscreant and retired hoodlum knocking on my door to say "Hello" - and, of course, half of them will be under observation by the authorities to begin with. That would, despite the fact that I neither invited nor encouraged such visitations, leave me open to a conspiracy charge - and she fully understands that, as I do myself. So, the North-East has to be a non-runner.
"You can relocate here in Lincolnshire!" says she - or words to that effect.
"No I can't," said I. "I have to keep away from my friends because of the fact that they are farmers and farmers go shooting!"
"No," says she. "You can see your friends any time you like, you just can't actually enter their premises."
Someone please explain to me how to conduct a proper friendship but not be allowed to go and call on their friends?
Typical of the system. Produce a decent, robust release plan to put before the Parole Board - that's their requirement. However, actually try to do that and the screams of outrage can be heard as far afield as Ayers Rock!
"You can go to the hostel," says she. "Just for two months."
Let me get this straight here. I can't go to the North-East on the grounds that I may associate with persons of ill-repute, thus setting me up to fail. However, I CAN go and live in a strange town, in a house full of junkies and low-lifes - but that's NOT setting me up to fail.
Discuss.
"Oh," says she, "you are going on home-leave to the hostel in January too!"
Lovely.
So, after all the above has been said, I must add that The SS really seems to want to help me. It can't be easy for her, given the current political climate - and I'm not an easy fellow to deal with at the best of times, I know this. She genuinely wants to get it all in place to lay before the Parole Board and have me released to live for two months in the hostel, a stranger in a strange land. The two months is ostensibly to give me time to find a decent place of my own and get myself sorted out.
God is supposed to move in mysterious ways. He hasn't got a patch on the system.
So, as stated earlier, it's all getting very interesting, not to mention fraught - so we won't mention that, eh!
When will the parole hearing actually be?
Pick a number.
I expect that I will be represented by Abigail again and, as usual, she will probably tell me to keep quiet.
The SS will be there, as far as I know, and so will The Wallace, a fact that I am pleased about. I have an inordinate faith in The Wallace - she inspires confidence. Hopefully The SS will too, in time. I think Andrew will be present and quite possibly several others, all prepared to discuss my future.
It would be nice if somebody bothered to ask me, but never mind. Oh yes, it's all getting very interesting.
The Voice In The Wilderness
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