Chatting Idly

So, there I was, sitting comfortably in the sun, dog at my feet and snoozing, watching my horses munching away at the good grass that is coming through. A peaceful, sedate scene by anyone's standards. Unfortunately it never stays that way with me; Along came a spider.
Well, it wasn't a spider, not really, it was one of the horsey set, a friend.
So, she sits next to me and after a minute or two says, "Freddie!" because that is what she calls me. "Freddie! You haven't got a girlfriend, have you?"
I said, "No. I'm a bit gun-shy in that direction at the minute."
"Ooo," says she. "Why is that then?"
"Because," said I. "I had a bad experience recently."
"With a woman?" asks she, eruditely.
"No," says I. "With a duck."
"Alright," says she. "No need for sarcasm. When did you have the bad experience?"
"Nineteen Seventy Three."
Of course she thought that was hilarious and while she was laughing I took the opportunity to bugger off with the dog. Well, the conversation was treading on thin ice in my opinion.
Oh yes, never get into idle chats with single females, even pretty ones in the horsey set. Pretty soon you won't be able to claim your saddle as your own.