Glad tidings!

There is news! I've had a letter from my solicitor to tell me that the Parole Board will set a date for my oral hearing soon and that it is likely to happen at some point in March, or thereabouts. The bit I particularly like is that the board has decided that it will be an oral hearing and seems to have dispensed entirely with the paper exercise which would normally precede an oral hearing. Do they know something I don't know?

Not only that but they specifically want to talk to Blodwyn about both her own findings and those of the independent psychologist... AND they want to talk to the Mighty Wallace as well! They've got the Smiling Assassin on the list too but I am ready to bet right here and now that she is away on leave or sick or something when the date arrives. We will see.

I have informed my solicitor that I would request a few witnesses of my own to attend. I want the independent psychologist for a start because, if his report is to be discussed, who better to discuss it with than the man himself? He has expressed his willingness to attend so I see no difficulty there. Another witness who wishes to attend is, of course, Andrew and, let's be fair, he has given me more sensible advice and guidance in the last couple of years than anyone ever gave me in the previous two decades. Andrew has written to almost everyone he could think of on my behalf - and their dogs. (A little dig at Blunkett there.) Anyway, I have informed him as to who I want to attend and I am going to write to Dr Mike Naughton and invite him too - he may find it interesting and may even want to have an input.

So, March (or thereabouts) it is then! We will see.

I bet Boudica will be pleased - she expects me to knock on the door at any time! She doesn't live in the same world as me. Her world is populated by pigeons, trolls, pretty little girls who like fairy stories and idiots who fall off their bikes in the snow. Did I not tell you? Christopher decided to do a wheelie, or something, on his bike in the snow and fell off. (Pause for belly laughter.) Now don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying that the lad is slightly deranged... Ah bollix! Who am I kidding? He is as mad as a March hare.

There's that March thing again.

So Christmas is here again and no doubt the usual crop of old films will be on the box, everyone will get pissed or overeat and the supermarkets will rub their collective hands in pleasure as they count their ill-gotten gains. Typical Christmas really. Families will forgive each other - two of my brothers have already sent me cards - but by the end of Christmas they will be back at each other's throats again.

I'll do my usual Scrooge impressions of course - the one I do every year, sitting in my kennel pretending to ignore things. However, and I say this with the greatest thanks and humility, I really appreciate all of the support and comments I have received from well-wishers. I can't thank everyone individually, of course - I have no idea who most people are - so all I can do is wish everyone a very merry Christmas and an extremely happy New Year. May we all have all the luck and good fortune that we want for ourselves. Thank you all.

Right, all I've got to do now is find a way to exonerate myself from the cracks I've been making recently about Boudica and her pigeons, and the cartwheel and the toffee-apple crack. When will I learn to keep my mouth shut? I just KNOW that she is writing it all down somewhere and that one day, in the not too distant future, she will say to me, "Right! I want a word with you, you grumpy old goat. What did you mean when you said..."

Women have fantastically long memories. They forget nothing and can prove everything, and bless each and every one of them.

The Voice In The Wilderness