Saturday, March 26, 2011

The Ides of March

Well, would you believe it! After all the disappointments, resentments, annoyances, delays, irritations and general time-wasting, I have finally been given a date for the Oral Parole Board Hearing - hereafter to be referred to as the OPBH. (It sounds like a chemical formula for an illegal substance - "Psssst! Psssst! Want to buy a feelthy peecture or some OPBH?")

Anyway, finally, at last, after all of the weeks of negative reporting, I can finally say that I've been given a date - Thursday, 26th May, 2011.

I was given the date on March 17th, and that's the bit that has made me slightly nervous - let's face it, the 17th of March wasn't a very auspicious day for good old Julius Caesar, was it? "Beware the Ides of March" - a wise man listens to such messages from the oracles. Do I hear the sound of daggers being honed?

Having said that, the 17th of March is also Saint Paddy's Day, and THAT sort of balances things out a good bit, me being part Paddy as well. Not that I care to be called "Paddy" - or Mick come to that - but, well I'm sure the astrologers would be able to make a case for it being positive.

I suppose it's a bit like the old Arab proverb - "Put all your trust in Allah, but first tie up your camels." Fair enough, I'll beware the Ides, but first I'll tie up the camel in the car park.

Some people say, "Frank, I can't figure out how your mind works at all!" Well, let me tell you a little secret - neither can I. You think it's easy living with my mind? I've told you before - it's not easy being me.

Thursday, 26th May, 2011. It's only eleven months late - that's pretty good in the grand scheme of things when dealing with officialdom.

Thursday, 26th May, 2011 - make a note in the diary.

To move along the bus a bit, Boudica is solidly into the writing now - the bug has caught her by the throat and is squeezing away enthusiastically. Personally I think that's great, and more power to her elbow. I hope it all turns into a huge success for her because if there is anyone who deserves a bit of good fortune in this world, it's Boudica - lang may her lum reek.

That's the good part. The less than good part, from my point of view, is that I was a bit expansive at the inception and made the promise that I would create the drawings for her. Now, I don't mind doing that - in fact I have quite enjoyed letting my pencil scribble away and sniggering a lot - but she is so prolific! I thought I could write quickly, but Boudica's head is full of ideas for stories for little teapot lids (that's rhyming slang for kids, for the folk not so well versed in that area).

That's fine too, but I have to do the drawings and, let's face facts here, my mind is far too dark for any of its outpourings to be inflicted upon children. I only came to that conclusion when I realised that most of the drawings I was doing were quite simply unfit for purpose.

So now I am stuck with trying to draw nice, twee things for Boudica because, if I don't, well - she has a temper, and there will be more than Julius worrying about the Ides of March.

Finally, Blodwin has gone, departed these shores, toddled off to pursue an academic life - and who can blame her? She is far too nice a person to live in this sordid world. She came to see me the day before she left (again, the Ides), and we had a chat for a short while. I told her that I shall miss her and that I saw her as a sort of esoteric comfort blanket, and I mean that in the nicest possible way.

When she took her leave of me, she said something which stuck in my mind, something I won't forget for a long time. She said, "Frank, talking to you has restored my faith in working with prisoners." What did she mean by that?

All replies in plain brown envelopes and must be accompanied by Treasury notes to cover expenses for my proposed trip to Katmandu where I understand there is an oracle living on top of a pole. I want a word with him ahout the Ides of March - surely he can issue a few words of comfort!

The Voice In The Wilderness

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