Thursday, May 03, 2012

It's raining

Well, here we are again - Sunday morning, 29th April and it is  just coming up to nine o'clock in the morning. I am supposed to  be out of the prison by now, sitting somewhere in Boston waiting to catch the train. But I'm not. Before anyone starts to think that there is something wrong, let me just say - there isn't. I was informed yesterday that the hostel couldn't accept me today and it was delayed for twenty-four hours. I'm going in the morning. The good news is that I only have to stay there for the one night - I'll go tomorrow, which is Monday, and return on Tuesday. A sort of overnight bed and breakfast thing, nothing more. At least I will get the chance to go shopping for a new dressing gown for my visit to the hospital on Friday. I'm having my umbilical hernia repaired - a bit  of sellotape and a couple of staples should do it. I'd do it myself, but sellotape costs money these days.

Where was I? Oh yes, not going anywhere.

So, here I sit and, looking out of the window, it is probably just as well because it is pissing down and blowing a gale. (Hang on. I'm probably not allowed to say "pissing down". I probably have to say "heavy precipitation". Yes, that's better.) There is a heavy precipitation today. In fact, there's been a heavy bleedin' precipitation most of the last week or so - pissing down in fact.

Now, tell me this and then tell me no more. If it's done nothing but rain all week and the telly is full of pictures of rivers with burst banks and floods, why is there still a hosepipe ban in certain areas?  Er, er, er... It's the wrong sort of rain in the wrong places, or some such cobblers. The simple facts are that the water companies are tearing the arse out of the general public, not maintaining infrastructures, allowing massive leaks to go unstopped and then charging the poor mugs who constitute the public a fortune to not be allowed to use the water. At least in the days when I robbed people I had the good manners and decency to use a shotgun!

So, I'm not going on my overnighter until tomorrow. I bet that's a big relief to all citizens. Well, they haven't recovered from Robin Hood yet. Let's have it right - it's all only a tick-in-the-box job anyway, or it is as far as I can see. What is the point of taking up a space - a PREMIUM SPACE I might add - in a hostel which could be utilised better for someone who needs it? There are plenty of people sitting languishing in this place, waiting months for a space in a hostel when I've got somewhere to go, far better for me on many levels, not the least of which being therapeutic and peaceful. Still, mine is not to reason why, I suppose. After all, where would we be without the right ticks in the right boxes?

Yes, it's me for the knife next Friday. There's a thought. I shall arrive at the crack of dawn, shoved into a bed still warm from the last occupant, shaved, told to dress in my new dressing gown, taken to the scene of the crime, knocked out with laughing gas (or whatever they use - probably a mallet) and, when I wake up half an hour or so later, there will be yet another scar on my body to tell lies about at some future date.

I've got a large scar on my leg which I earned in the early seventies. When it first happened, I used to be asked how I arrived at such a scar, for a few years anyway. I grew bored with the account and began to make stories up about sharks and septicemia from shaving my legs when I was a Tranny. In the end I had told that many porkies that I couldn't even remember the truth anymore.

So, if you see me with a scar on my leg - don't ask. Come to think about it, if you see me with a scar on my midriff, don't ask about that either - some things are better left alone, and my midriff is one of them.

The Voice in The Wilderness

1 comment:

Rob Eddolls said...

Ha nice perspective on things Frank, particularly the way we are fleeced by (predominately French) companies for a product that is certainly in abundance. Hope the op goes well