I got myself a ticket

I got myself a ticket.
Yes, I know. A lot of folks, mostly family members will be quite chuffed about that. They will be saying, "Good enough for the flash twat," and they are probably right, but sod em anyway.
Had a good day yesterday because I took Lucretia Borgia and her sister out for the day up to Northumberland where I have every intention of retiring to next year. Sweaty Betty got a large, stuffed gorilla toy. No idea why, but the first thing Khan and Charlie did was try to kill it.
Got back home about eight bells and there was a letter on the mat, chewed severely.
Northumbria police intend to prosecute me for speeding. Proper speed freak, that's me.
I was doing 35mph in a 30 zone. No wonder officer plod is busy, they are wasting their time on a couple of miles an hour while the nasties are plotting acts of mass destruction. Go and lock those fellers up!
Fuck that, speeders are easier, especially those lunatics who go 5 mph over the top, they could have somebodies eye out. They are having my eyes out, a hundred quid for 5 miles over the recommended dose. I might go back to riding horses, you don't get tickets.
Oh well, I suppose I will have to pay it and graciously accept the three points because I got myself a ticket.