I nearly died!

I nearly died! and there are a lot of people who probably think that it's a pity I didn't but that is just sour grapes, bollocks to them.
What occurred was as follows:
I went to South Shield with our Wendy and Jackie with Wendy whingeing all the way because I was going over speed bumps too fast and hurting her back. Left to me I would break her back but it's against the law so she will never know how lucky she is.
We get to Shield and park in B&M's carpark at great expense and wander around the market looking for something for nothing. I got a Royal Horticultural Society china bowl for 20p, bargain!
Then Wendy, Miss Southwick 1954 wanted to go into a charity shop. She probably fancied a bit of shoplifting.
"Sod Off," I tell them. "I'm going for something to eat."
There is a nice little place called "The Smithy" so we went there. Nothing fancy, pie peas and chips.
So, we are munching away and I get a pea stuck in my throat, couldn't breathe, choking.
They just sit there watching my face turn pretty shades of purple and eating their did-dins.
I finally get it to eject, this unwanted pea and sit there gasping for breath.
"Why didn't you help? I nearly died!"