We are family

Funny things, families, and let's face it, they come no funnier than mine. Put it this way, if I was to say that my family is dysfunction I could be accused of making the understatement of the year. It's like saying a hurricane is a bit of a wind.
The main trouble with my little lot is that they all have to know everyone else's business. The plain truth is, they can't keep their noses to themselves.
I've got a girlfriend. Now most folk would say, "Fair play, hope it all goes well for you both, we'd like to meet her when you feel the time is right."
Not my mob.
"Right, what's her name?"
"Mind your own business."
"Where is she from?"
"Mind your own business."
"What are you hiding her for?"
"Mind your own business."
At first I did it for privacy and diplomacy, but it has now become entertaining, so I am telling them nothing, it's great fun. Of course this attitude is simply making them worse.
"He is up to no good!"
"I bet she's young enough to be his daughter."
"I bet she's one of them foreigners!"
And so on.
I have spoken to her about them and she is quite right, she will meet them naturally in the normal course of events, no need to rush anything. But you know what families are like, they will go on asking silly questions and I'll go on enjoying refusing to tell anyone anything, it's funny! Mind, families are funny things anyway.